Then
6 months ago feels like forever when I think about my little business. I had an idea to make something unique for the holidays to sell alongside my jewelry. "A candle?" hmmm everyone makes candles. "With gemstones in it?" yeh, that's cool but again, so many are doing that. "What if the candle was also lotion?" Now that intrigued me!
I fiddled and tried ideas and somehow candles also turned into realistic looking lotion stones, which then, on a whim!, turned into tiny lotion hearts and I just had that feeling that I should sell them.
Most of my life, I have been searching for my "purpose" and asking God and the Universe to please just let something good come through me. I wanted to give to the world, to heal, to foster connection and belonging. For many years I thought I had to become a therapist to do that (and spent much of my time listening to people in pain), but somehow it didn't pan out.
I was a foodie, food critic, recipe developer, food stylist and photographer. I assumed food would always be my "thing", my way of taking people on an adventure to fill the senses and delight. But after some rugged events, I stopped being able to eat all of the glorious, unctuous, delicious things I used to and yes, I developed healthy recipes to get me through, but it always felt like a work-around, not a place where my indulgent self could get lost in the passion of creation and go out as far as I wanted or needed to.
This little company is when I can got lost again, in passion and scents, textures and beauty. I've had people call me "the skincare chef" which is taken by another and others have called my scents and combinations "almost culinary" and yes, some have even tried to eat samples at the markets. The last few years, leading up to this were hard. So much self-searching happened. I took courses on creativity and trying to clear the blocks you have around it. I learned to be vulnerable and not hide my true self. I studied self-care, (something I used to scoff at and avoid at all costs!) I even took a year-long class on sitting with all the feelings and fears that haunt and scare me. So it's like a rebuilding from the bottom-up, a layer cake and I was laying the foundation of getting myself steady and more healed, in order to be able to have something inspired move through me and training to handle getting my wounds out of the way to let that happen. I didn't know what the focus would be, and honestly, when it happened, wasn't so much thinking about that, I only knew that I wanted it to be divinely led and that it would flow through me, and that it would help people.
Now
It's been 6 months! and I have done things I never knew I would, or could! I have created products from a completely inspired place. I have brought to life things I have dreamt about, or had a flash of possibility about, or scribbled as a possibility on a napkin. I haven't known how to do much of what I have done, and yet, it's happened. I can't tell you the feeling when you see and hold something from your dreams in your hand, as a reality. I remember holding a jar up like a little kid who found treasure and saying, "Look!! I made a thing!! it's just like a real product!" one night when we were looking at Quench with its labels affixed.
And now I have joined this crazy, amazing, community of makers. These are the people I used to hunt down for unique Christmas gifts, or walk past at markets. I had no idea who they really were or what they really went through until I took this leap but I am honored to be one of them.
Right before a market I said out loud, (to myself!), "This is me, putting my heart outside of my body for all the world to see. This is me, putting a price on things that come out of my soul, through my hands, and hoping the world can relate to it." It is an absolutely naked, raw, surreal feeling to do your very very best and truly care about what you're doing, and make whatever-it-is, and put a price on it, and let people come look and see if they want to spend money on it.
I am not a salesperson by nature. I am not trained as a business person. Hell, half the time I feel like I am not trained as a human. And sometimes, I am awkward as all get out, trying to explain something or figure out formulas... But something has happened, and I am grateful. Thank you to everyone who has liked my posts on social media. Thank you to anyone who inquired about products, and thank you to those who paid for them and wore them on their bodies or gifted them to others! Thank you for sharing the products with friends and family. Thank you for believing in me, believing in the little company and for loving the products.
Gift
I am most moved by the emails, letters and texts I get from people about how our products have helped them. They have found comfort in the night when terrified, by using tiny hearts. They have found softer hands, better sleep, joy in special scents. People who didn't think about massaging their hands are now doing just that -- and feet!! The self-care, and sense of belonging some have by knowing we are all this tribe of people, using tiny hearts or stones is really beautiful. The fact that I can make the world a bit of a softer, healthier place, feels like this impossible blessing to me.
I am thankful for these 6 months and for each of you who smelled or touched products I made, or talked with me about what I've been up to. It has really taken a village and I love my village.<3
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