I apologize for the shocking title that feels so harsh. But it's something that's been circling in my head, this is one of the arenas I am currently in.
I was raised, believing, that doing my best wasn't enough. If I didn't get the very best, near perfect results, I should have tried harder. If something wasn't working, it was because I wasn't fully dedicated, didn't try hard enough, didn't believe enough, or was lacking as a person. It came from a combination of the kind of stern punishment my father grew up with, and magical-thinking my mother lived by. It was a twisted confusion that some would call a double-bind, but I'll just go ahead and call it a double-ugly, because it leaves you no place to turn other than to beat yourself up for lack and to live a life of regret.
I found myself today thinking, "All I can do is my best". That's a happy little phrase passed down. But it's something I have now started to live by. If I do my best every day, which in business means being honest, being brave and facing in to things, and then throwing my heart out into the world with what I can offer, (giving my very best gifts), I have done my job. The aftermath of this is to then let it go and let the Universe/God, and life, step in.
The aftermath of this kind of bravery for me looks like lots of self-soothing talk, working on letting my best indeed be enough, not letting myself beat myself up or continue to push beyond what is helpful, and trusting that my best is indeed, enough. What if every person woke up, gave their best to the world and let it go?
I believe the Universe, or God, wants to assist us. I believe that if we do out part, (our best), the world will usually rise up to meet us (and if it doesn't, there is another plan around the corner). It is very hard to wait, to put yourself on the edge of a cliff and be uncomfortable and scared and not know how that might happen, but it's also magical, (a different kind of magic from simply "believing things into being"), the kind of magic that comes from living an open-hearted life, then watching to see what happens.
I used to push beyond my best, trying to please everyone and everything. That, combined with feeling flawed and not enough is trickery that led me to messing up my health and entertaining situations and jobs and relationships that weren't for my highest good. Now, in the just giving the very best of what comes through me, in a fully expressed way, taking care of myself, and stepping back, things are shifting.
And as I do that and work with my little voices and big fears that arise, life is starting to shift and open. I feel more authentic than I have. I feel like I am able to give my gifts to the world and have them received. I also feel like I wish my poor parents weren't raised with such trickery and confusion and that they hadn't passed that down. I am pleased that there is a chance that my undoing some of this, can ultimately help others in my family do the same.
Where are you in this process? is your best good enough? Can you put it out there and let it be? or do you find going beyond that and pushing harder is working for you? Just because it didn't work for me, doesn't mean it can't for you. I would love to share wisdom and ideas on this. Are you a person who feels like they can just do their best then take the hands off the wheel and wait? Have you ever even tried this? I can't believe how many years, I never even considered this as an option! and now, it's my life!!
So yes, Doing Your Best, Simply Isn't Good Enough, because you must also lean in, take care of yourself, and let the Universe or God have some room to work -- sit on your hands and impulses to fill in all the gaps and keep trying harder and harder and harder. But I believe that doing your best, sharing that boldly with the world, then letting that be enough, is enough. Let's let it be enough and see how our lives evolve. What would you need to have or believe, in order for. your best to be enough?
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